2011-02 Dennis' Deliberations

I was 12 years old and active with the IBM Ring in Norfolk, Virginia at Earl Edward’s Magic Shop.
One of the things Bob McAllister always insisted was that we write our own introduction for him to read when he was the MC for the monthly Ring Show. He wanted a different one every time. His idea was that the more you tell audiences to expect good things, the more they will start out on your side.

So we all hyped our intros. I ran out of ideas after using, “He was raised by missionaries in the High Himalayas where he learned the secrets of ancient mysteries…” and other utter nonsense. One show I made up another wild tale, “And he is the 3rd generation of wonder workers. His grand-father and father were magicians. Magicians run in his family….” Bob added, with a sarcastic voice, “And as they should!”

A relative emailed me a clip of David Copperfield "flying", and asked me how it's done. He and his wife saw it live in Las Vegas. What do I tell him? He probably wants to know how David Blaine levitates too! (And who IS this guy, Ball Doochy??)  (The video clip the relative kindly relayed to me, like we magicians never saw it before.)

Taking on most of the entire alphabet (well, down to the letter "T'") I came up with these answers to his question:
A) I could tell you but then I'd have to shoot you - standard reply no. 1.
B) If I told you I'd be kicked out of the International Magicians' Union and that means they hunt me down, torture me and execute me. - standard reply no. 2.
C) If I told you then David Copperfield would kill me - non-standard reply; no. 3.
D) I don't know.. sort of... but then again... - Cop-out no. 1 (there ain’t no 2 and 3!)
E) It's done with 200 miles of what magicians call, "Invisible Thread". If you use enough, it'll pick up far more than just a floating crunched-up dollar bill.
F) You don't really want to know: Magic's biggest propaganda statement is, "It's FUN to be fooled!"
G) "I think it's a big magnet!" - my wife's conjecture (she's always right...)
H) God gave David (God's partial to names like "David") the Gift of Flying and told him "Ssssh!! Let everyone think it's a conjuring trick and they'll be none the wiser!"
I) An invisible anesthetic gas fills the room and seduces everyone into believing they see a magician flying, when in reality he's out in the wings taking a coffee break.
J) A new technology, not yet commercially available, creates a giant holographic illusion of a real stage and a real magician flying; it'll be in the next giant TV set everyone will be suckered into buying.
K) It's James Cameron's secret trick he developed while making Avatar. And who knows what magic he'll come up with next, now that he's 3 billion dollars richer?
L) Copperfield's actually in a huge tank of blue-stained, bubble-free water and "swims" around in it. And David Blaine taught him to hold his breath for (how long is that video clip?) precisely 4 minutes and 30 seconds.
M) Science has finally learned how to make Jules Verne's "Cavorite" which shields the air above from Earth's gravity, enabling men to go to the moon - and magicians named 'David' to fly.
N) People are put to sleep and given a virtual reality dream that convinces them they actually saw a flying magician. The same dream convinces them they can take more money out of Las Vegas than they put into it.
O) The magician had an extra-big helping of Chili at one of the hotel buffets and it gave him lots of gas.
P) Someone out on the Internet swears he has two tiny helicopters taped to his ankles -- don't believe it!
Q) Some people think it's hilarious to give spoof explanations on video clips -- like helium -- but not me! (see: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/624333/helium_levitation_spoof_parody_new_levitation_for_tv_magic/)
R) Spoiler Alert!! There's an explanation at http://www.bambinidisatana.com/illusionismo/copperfield/fly.html -- but don't go there, as it'll rot your brain and destroy your belief in magic.
S) In fact, the "secret" of David Copperfield's flying (and David Blaine's; and Criss Angel's who changed his name from "David Andgoliath") is all over the Internet. So is the patent!
T) Now that you know "flying tricks" by every magician named David are explained on the Internet -- if you still have to ask a magician friend, you can't be very interested in knowing one of magic's greatest UNkept secrets.

There is six inches of snow outside on the ground as I submit this issue. We are warm, dry and safe here in the bucolic Shenandoah Valley of Virginia and there is always magic going on!

Dennis Phillips