2008-02 Dennis' Deliberations

My Friendly Tet Offensive 2008

Saturday January 26th was when many Vietnamese here in Florida celebrated “Tet”, the Vietnamese New Year. Actually, the official date for Tet will be on February 7th this year. The New Year begins on the first night of the first moon after the sun enters Aquarius. We are moving from the 2007year of the Pig to the 2008 year of the Rat. I guess for people of my generation the Tet holiday will forever be linked to form the words “Tet Offensive”. The North Vietnamese Communist Army staged a massive military offensive against U.S. forces in February of 1968 on the Tet holiday. It utterly failed and American troops in Viet Nam mopped up all resistance in a couple of day but the psychological damage was done in the minds of the American people and we lost interest in the Viet Nam War and 7 years later we finally got our behinds handed to us and withdrew.

That withdrawal and slow military disengagement of America from Viet Nam prompted a number of Vietnamese to apply for political asylum here in the United States and Central Florida became one area of concentration. In Orlando the area around Mills and Colonial is referred to by many as “Little Viet Nam”. I live in downtown Orlando and we have an Asian neighbor and by a series of acquaintances I was recommended to perform a stage show at the local Tet event. It was at the Central Florida Fairgrounds on a rainy Saturday night.


I was not aware just how huge this 2,500 person event turned out to be. I always carry my own sound system for a stage show and it was not needed. They had a full festival sound system run by an events company.

Oddly enough the Vietnamese Roman Catholic Church was a major sponsor. Recall the Viet Nam was a colony of France and the French brought Christianity to the country that previously had been mostly Buddhist in the cities. I find it utterly fascinating to witness religious syncretism. Vestiges of the pre-Christian religion exist in the legends, dance and graphics, but most have been Christianized. One could argue that the entire Christian religion represents a syncretism between Diasporic Judaism, Hellenistic Stoicism and the Roman Empire’s old religion. Humans tend to find the kind of god and belief system they believe they think they need.

Al Coury had seen my name in a Tet flyer and called me a couple of hours before I left the house saying that he wanted to be at the show but he also had a gig that night at another location. I carry a full carload of props since I wanted the act to be big, flashy and filled with flowers, silks and rice bowls. I would still anchor the show with my standard eight minute opening to my club act using doves and a rabbit finale. While I was loading my jumbo Phantom Tube, my wife was folding my two six-foot Rice’s picture silks and the other dozen odd silks and streamers. I inserted two Abbott’s Flag staffs into the secondary load and Cindy asked me how much the value was of all the production items. I calculated at today’s prices I was producing over $2,000 worth of items within 90 seconds of stage time.


I used the help of 3 stagehands and we got the props up on stage and off to the side as I waited for my introduction. There were a number of singers on stage before me. I was not quite sure when to load my doves into my coat so my birdies had an extended wait since I loaded up a bit early. The printed schedule handed to me was in Vietnamese and the Emcee spoke only Vietnamese. I can operate in six other languages and do know a little Vietnamese but I had to keep reminding myself that the Vietnamese have a different approach to schedules and time than we do! The show rolled on and all the cues were met and at the finale, my straight jacket escape, I bowed off to a nice hand. I am not surprised at the great success many Americans are having by taking their magic acts to the Orient. The Eastern cultures love magic!

Since we are moving into a Globalist future and all world cultures are going to be interfacing socially and economically, let me depart from talking “tricks” and help you with an understanding that could get you a future magic gig in “Nam”. Hanoi used to be a French Resort and the Pearl of the Orient. I believe that in addition to manufacturing someday Viet Nam will return to be a tourist haven with resort hotels and cruise ship ports. The magician of the future will understand how all cultures see “magic” and how they see the world.
Tet is a huge celebration lasting three days. Families save money, store food, and plan far in advance for Tet, a major holiday in Vietnam. The Vietnamese take extreme care to start the New Year out right. They buy new clothes, paint and clean their homes, cook three days worth of food, pay off all debts and make amends to rid themselves of all bad feelings. Cleaning is frowned on during Tet because one would not want to sweep out any good luck. Digging and drawing water is also not allowed so the ground and water can enjoy the holiday.

The marketplace is very busy the week before Tet, as people buy food, trinkets, firecrackers, flowers, and other items in anticipation of the holiday. At four o'clock in the afternoon on Tet eve all the markets close down so the people can go home and prepare for midnight when Tet begins.
The atmosphere is very festive. Incense is burned in the homes. The color Red, symbolizing good luck and happiness is seen everywhere. Games of gambling are in the streets, homes and in cars. If a gambler wins then he is said to have good luck gambling in the New Year. If a gambler loses, he is said to have good luck in other affairs. There are dragon dances at night. Food is plentiful, homes are decorated, parks are full of crowds of people dressed in their best new clothes, and for three days the people have an ultimate celebration.
Tet is a time for visits from family and friends. The first visitor to a home is very important. If the first visitor is rich, prestigious, or happy then the family will have good fortune that year. Usually this visitor is a relative, but sometimes the family will invite a special guest that they feel will bring them good luck. The first day of Tet is reserved for visiting family and relatives. The second day is set aside for special guests and close friends to visit, and the third day is for teachers and business associates to make a visit. Negative talk and arguments are taboo. Visitors end their visit with a farewell wish for the family such as, "I wish that money will flow into your house like water, and out like a turtle."
The Vietnamese believe that their deceased ancestors will visit the family for the holiday. Alters are decorated in the homes with incense, flowers, and photographs of deceased relatives. A tray full of fruit, coins, and a tall vase of blossoms are placed in front of the alter symbolizing good luck and prosperity. The third day is also a day to visit the graves of deceased relatives. The graves are decorated with incense, flowers, and candles. Many Buddhists go to their favorite Pagoda to pray for a good year. The Catholics go to a pre-midnight mass.

Not only is Tet the beginning of a New Year, it is also everyone's birthday. The Vietnamese do not know or acknowledge the exact day they were born. A baby turns one on Tet no matter when he/she was born that year. Children say they were born in the year of the symbol of the lunar calendar for that year. On the first morning of Tet, adults congratulate children on becoming a year older by presenting them with red envelopes that contain "Lucky Money,” These envelopes are given to the children by parents, siblings, relatives and close friends.
Families choose a Tet tree, or tac, which is a cone shaped fruit tree with miniature oranges just ripening. The more fruit on the tree, the luckier the family. Greeting cards and good luck symbols are hung from the Tet trees. Each family also has a branch of the Mai tree in their homes, a symbol of spring, which bear lucky little yellow flowers.
Food plays a major role in the Tet celebration. Tet is a time of excess, one does not enjoy Tet, one "eats" Tet. The first day a feast of boiled male virgin chicken, sticky rice, and a special soup made with clear vermicelli and bamboo shoots, boiled pork, and 3 or 5 duck eggs is offered to ancestors who have returned to their homes. Sticky rice and salt are also offered in the streets to any hungry ghosts who might be wandering in the neighborhood. A traditional food is Earth cake, a square cake made with rice beans and pork. When a watermelon is cut they believe that the redder the watermelon the more luck for the family. Several different desserts and dishes are made with coconut. On the third day another feast of chicken is served to say farewell to ancestors returning to their ethereal abodes.
In the United States large populations of Vietnamese celebrate Tet Vietnamese children do not attend school that day. Ladies wear red and yellow, the colors of the Vietnamese flag and the men wear all black. They go to church, eat earth cake, and have games, carnival rides, food booths and contests that are set up at a local college. The red envelopes are passed with "lucky money" in it. In the evening red firecrackers explode and dragon dances begin. You can check “Teacherlink” on the Internet as a source for more cultural information such as presented above.
The magical entertainer of the future will understand the global audience.
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Sterling Steal is an aging magician with a rather unusual magic act. He looks like a robotic character and does mostly stage manipulations with large hand held objects. I was pretty impressed by his lecture at Magic By the Bay in Tampa last year. I somehow got on his mailing list and I think you will enjoy this humor he sent me:

You might be a magician if…
Your best pickup line is "Pick a card."
You tell bad jokes 75% of the time.
You pay $50 for a $1 coin.
A "shell" is not something found on a beach.
You won’t play card games with your cards.
While watching a movie or TV, you have cards in your hands.
You pose for a photo with one eyebrow raised!
Your Christmas/Birthday wish list looks like a magic catalogue.
If you've ever been asked the question "can you make my wife disappear"?
You use the word "effect" rather than "trick".
You drive 300 miles round trip to visit a teeny-tiny store.
You have over 100 responses to the phrase "How did you do that?"
You actually want to go to a lecture.
You have a dog named "Houdini".
You record every magic special on TV.
All your friends call you when magic is on TV.
Your entire list of friends name starts with "The Amazing" or "The Great".
You have your local magic shop on speed dial.
You can lose your thumb and you visit the magic shop instead of the emergency ward.
You pay to see a lecture, buy a written version of what was just demonstrated to you, and then buy a manufactured version of something in the notes.
You pay $60.00 for a book and get, possibly, one or two useful things out of it and you're happy. You have so much magic stuff in your room that it’s considered a fire hazard.
You have more elastic bands than a stationary shop.
You spend hours trying to rearrange the letters in your name to use on stage (only to come back years later using your real name).
You don't mind kissing a dove.
It really matters to you how someone shuffles your deck.
You expect people to think ‘it's magic’ when it took you half an hour to set up.
You own a top hat, cape and cane and have never gone to the opera.
You began demonstrating the mysteries of ancient China at the age of 9.
When you come to visit, your friends hide all the silverware and bring out plastic ones.
Someone actually hands you a fork and says please bend this.
You pretended to be insane just to get the straight jacket.
You spend the most money on things that other people aren’t allowed to see.
You never throw out old decks because you "can make something out of it".
You carefully watch a card-playing scene in a movie only to see what kind of cards they’re using.
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Just for the male magicians:
Your girlfriend knows the sound of riffled cards over the phone.
You force your wife to take fertility drugs, so you can do those illusions that use twins....
You see a beautiful woman and think if she will suit your act.
You spend more time in front of a mirror than your girlfriend does.
You show your girlfriend the same trick everyday insisting that "I've improved it greatly".
Your wife tells you "we are going out to dinner, now dear; please leave your toys at home".
You are the only one of your male friends that has a nice "silk collection".

Dennis Phillips