2008-01 Dennis' Deliberations

"... there are two kinds of unknowns. There are known unknowns and unknown unknowns." -Donald Rumsfeld in testimony before Congress.

Many times, as magic performers we never know what an audience will say or do when we ask them to help us or engage in conversation.

Kendix, illusionist and Ring 170 member, has a great opening series of lines in his illusion show about the first questions people ask you when they find out that he is a magician. The first question he says is , "How did you do that" and the other question people always ask him is "Can you make my wife ( or husband) disappear"?

If you are doing walk-around magic ,there really is no good answer to the last question that will keep the mood of your performance upbeat.

You could say, "Keep asking people that question and pretty soon she (or he) WILL disappear!"... That gets a laugh but makes the person who asked the question looks bad.

Alain Nu has a classy line, 'No, I need all the audience that I can get!". Nu's line is probably the most palatable because it throws the issue back on Nu. People are then laughing at Nu and not the person who asked it.

My problem was that one time I used Nu's line at a local convention during a dining event and the guy said, "Oh she's not here, I left her back home ". Obviously it was a troubled marriage!

That led me to my now standard response, which is a bit like what Jackie Mason might say. I look them straight in the eye and with a bit of aggravation say: "Hey, Do I look like a magician or a divorce lawyer?"! On rare occasions if my remark gets a good laugh and the person asking it is past 50 years old , I might continue ( depending on gender) " Sheeze, you should have married Amelia Earhart" or if a wife asks about her husband, "You need to get him elected as president of the Teamster's Union. Remember Jimmy Hoffa?..".

I offer these ideas to you because , as Sam Goldwyn used to say, "the best "ad-libs" are structured, written and prepared "ad-libs".

Someone asked Goldwyn what it took to be a great actor. Goldwyn replied, "Sincerity. If you can fake that , you have it made."

Hecklers and wise guys and obnoxious kids:

They all require different approaches. At a Kid's show I clearly explain to a designated adult that THEY are the "heavy", the guard, the enforcer ...that their job is to keep kids off the stage and from in front of the stage and in their seats. This is due to danger and needing order for the show. The "heavy" also keeps kids from rushing the stage and fooling with my props after the show.

I also explain to the heavy that kids will yell during sucker tricks, so that the enforcer understands what will happen. If the heavy knows the kids, I try to let them give me a tip on who might give me a problem and have them speak to parents and if they are good at public speaking I give them a written introduction to read to the audience telling the audience who I am and how to behave...( no cell phones, video cams etc)

If you get a kid who insist on screaming every possible answer to everyone else...and refuses to quit ......I PAUSE the show!

I walk to the edge of the stage and I invite him to the front and give him a lecture, in front of the audience, on the virtue of being courteous. I turn the audience against his actions...

Looking at the audience, " Do you want Joey interrupting my show?" . I always add, "Joey ,maybe you really like magic and do some yourself. Then you need to learn to keep a secret and after the show bring your Mom or Dad to see me and I will give you some information on becoming a magician."

The kid just wants attention and has a very poor or distorted self image ( as a lot of people in magic do!) so I straighten them out a bit.

I do the job the kid's parents should....

I rarely have a problem like this....If you have a tight act and keep up a steady pacing, there is no time for a heckler to get going.

Adults are a different story but also require the same pre-show set up. I again designate a "heavy" to let me know if there are any alcoholics in the group and to suggest fun but sober, slightly shy people to help me. I go over what I am looking for in a volunteer assistant. I have nothing against preparing.

I do not want some drunk idiot telling me his name is: Jim Shorts or Dick Hertz. I should get the laughs not some wise-guy.

Once on stage ( back in the 70s at a Disco club) a moron tried that and I said " May I see your Drivers license and Insurance card...take them out of your wallet please and in a moment I am going to ask you to blow up my balloon...10-4... Headquarters we have a possible 10-52...." The guy was schnockered and I sent him back to his seat.

If you won't tolerate a heckler and you have the audience on your side, it won't happen.... I will not play venues that are likely to have hecklers, because in the end , unless you are Don Rickles, you can't win with hecklers without making yourself look bad.

Here is one mental effect that silences all hecklers: It is a version of Anneman's Psuedo-Psychometry. Lee Earle sells"the No Brainer Bags" and I also have a set I made from black velvet with golden pull-cords...The inside of each bag is a different solid color and you pass the bags out to people wearing the same color clothes. For example the red interior bag goes to the woman wearing the red dress. I rarely use them any more. I went to something simpler.

The basic effect is that you pass out 5 envelopes and someone secretly puts a personal object inside their's and returns it to the stage. the bags are mixed up and you accurately know whose object is in each envelope. You also know personal things about their life.

Now, here are my versions with props that seem everyday and ungimmicked (or at least to the audience)

I bought a stack of large Manila Envelopes and had a small rubber stamp made that looks like a trademark. It says, "Dunninger Security Envelope Corp."
The thing is only a half-inch square. I bought 4 different colored ink pads. Red, Green, Blue, Black, and stamped the envelopes in the middle of the bottom glued flap on the side where the open flap and clamp are! This is the typical place you would find a small trademark stamp. The unstamped one is 'white'...that gives me 5 colors...

So...now you don't have a funny little black bags to raise suspicion! Although when I use them I patter about Chevas Regal bags and expensive Scotch from a Scotland and a game kids play there with the discarded bags. ( "I was a bad kid. I played hopscotch with real scotch!".)

THEN, I discovered you could skip the stamp and just color in the little hole where the metal clasp is (on the Dennison Brand) with a cheap set of multicolored markers , available at Walgreens, and have a lot of different colors...! In pre-show work, scan the audience and if you want to use purple or brown color just color in the hole on the spot!

Oh...How do you know personal information? It is called "Cold Reading" ( verbal 'fishing' ) and I will deal with that interesting topic another time.

Dennis Phillips